George carlin brain droppings pdf


 

Brain Droppings by George Carlin››› Download audio book. ‹‹‹ Original Title: Brain Droppings ISBN: ISBN Fill George Carlin Brain Droppings Pdf Download, download blank or editable online. Sign, fax and printable from PC, iPad, tablet or mobile with PDFfiller. Brain droppings by George Carlin A leather-bound, signed first edition of this book . GEORGE CARLIN ME W rtUSEDO X Guys who always harmonize the last.

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George Carlin Brain Droppings Pdf

Brain Droppings by George Carlin ISBN ISBN Publisher: Hyperion Books Publication Date. Brain Droppings is a book by comedian George Carlin. This was Carlin's " first real book" . Create a book · Download as PDF · Printable version. Read online or Download Brain Droppings by George Carlin (Full PDF ebook with essay, research pap.

Dimensions: 8. It's the purest version of book-as-candy that one could imagine, serving up humor in convenient, bite-sized packages. Snack on chewy one-liners like "A meltdown sounds like fun. Like some kind of cheese sandwich. Tell us, George, what exactly were you going for with "Kill your pet" and "Satan is cool"? Quick--hide the paper before Daddy sees it! Still, if you're a fan of this sarcastic semanticist who's given Bad Attitude not necessarily a good name, but at least a comfy bank account, by all means rush out and snag Brain Droppings. Carlin's book melts in your mind, not in your hand. From Publishers Weekly When a stand-up comedian writes a book, the audio version enjoys a clear advantage over the printed word. Timing, delivery and vocal expression are as important to humor as the actual joke itself.

In August , Hyperion published a calendar containing quips and quotes from the book. In May , the book was published as an audiobook by HighBridge, [1] in both CD and cassette tape formats. The audiobook received a Grammy award , Carlin's third, in February Differences in audiobook[ edit ] Since there was a 3-year gap between the printed book and the audiobook, a few things were changed due to changes in both Carlin's personal life and in the world in general. His wife, Brenda, died shortly after the book was published, so in the audiobook he said "I've had a great marriage In mentioning teams who could never quite win the big title after so many years, he mentions the Vikings , the Broncos , the Bills , the Cubs , and the Red Sox in the book.

In the audiobook, he omits the Broncos when they win two Super Bowls.

At the end of his discussion of when super celebrities die, in the book he says he can't even fathom Frank Sinatra 's or Ronald Reagan 's death. He omitted Sinatra in the audiobook after he died in In a non-chronological change, in his "Baseball and Football" segment, he adds the weird fact that baseball is the only one of the four major American sports that is sensibly unwatchable in a mirror. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time.

A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you're taking off in an airplane. You look down and see all the little piles of stuff. Everybody's got his own little pile of stuff. And they lock it up! That's right! Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They don't bother with that crap you're saving.

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Ain't nobody interested in your fourth-grade arithmetic papers. National Geographics, commemorative plates, your prize collection of Navajo underwear; they're not interested. They just want the good stuff; the shiny stuff; the electronic stuff. So when you get right down to it, your house is nothing more than a place to keep your stuff.

Tryin' to get more stuff. Stuff you don't want, stuff you don't need, stuff that's poorly made, stuff that's overpriced. Even stuff you can't afford! Gotta keep on gettin' more stuff. Otherwise someone else might wind up with more stuff.

Can't let that happen. Gotta have the most stuff. So you keep gettin' more and more stuff, and puttin' it in different places. In the closets, in the attic, in the basement, in the garage. And there might even be some stuff you left at your parents' house: baseball cards, comic books, photographs, souvenirs.

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Actually, your parents threw that stuff out long ago. So now you got a houseful of stuff. And, even though you might like your house, you gotta move. Gotta get a bigger house. Too much stuff! Or maybe, put some of your stuff in storage.

Imagine that. There's a whole industry based on keepin' an eye on other people's stuff. Or maybe you could sell some of your stuff. Have a yard sale, have a garage sale!

Some people drive around all weekend just lookin' for garage sales. They don't have enough of their own stuff, they wanna download other people's stuff. Or you could take your stuff to the swap meet, the flea market, the rummage sale, or the auction. There's a lotta ways to get rid of stuff. You can even give your stuff away. The Salvation Army and Goodwill will actually come to your house and pick up your stuff and give it to people who don't have much stuff.

It's part of what economists call the Redistribution of Stuff. Ok, enough about your stuff. Let's talk about other people's stuff. Have you ever noticed when you visit someone else's house, you never quite feel at home?

You know why? No room for your stuff!

Brain Droppings

Somebody else's stuff is all over the place. And what crummy stuff it is! Where did they get this stuff? It gets real late, and you decide to stay over? So they put you in a bedroom they don't use too often. And they haven't moved any of her stuff? Not even the vaporizer? Or whatever room they put you in, there's usually a dresser or a nightstand, and there's never any room on it for your stuff.

Someone else's shit is on the dresser! Have you noticed that their stuff is shit, and your shit is stuff? Crap is the stuff that belongs to the person you just broke up with. Sometimes you go on vacation, and you gotta take some of your stuff.

Mostly stuff to wear. But which stuff should you take?

Brain Droppings Quotes

Can't take all your stuff. Just the stuff you really like; the stuff that fits you well that month. In effect, on vacation, you take a smaller, 'second version' of your stuff. Let's say you go to Honolulu for two weeks. You gotta take two big suitcases of stuff. Two weeks, two big suitcases. That's the stuff you check onto the plane. But you also got your carry-on stuff, plus the stuff you bought in the airport.

So now you're all set to go. You got stuff in the overhead rack, stuff under the seat, stuff in the seat pocket, and stuff in your lap. And let's not forget the stuff you're gonna steal from the airline: silverware, soap, blanket, toilet paper, salt and pepper shakers. Too bad those headseats won't work at home.

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