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I find the best way to do this is to stop thinking about the future, the past, what I want, etc… and just focus on the present. Making these simple changes and learning to be more content and relaxed throughout your daily life will help balance your dopamine levels for every activity, including sex.
With a normal dopamine level, you can experience sex longer and more passionately. The dopamine will flow in regulation, instead of exploding in one big surge and causing early ejaculation. Notice that if the dopamine level is regulated, you actually get to experience more of it because the sex lasts longer. This means that you not only last longer to please your partner better, but you too will enjoy greater heights of pleasure. The first is to show you how dopamine affects ejaculation and how a dopamine-driven lifestyle can lead to PE, which is what I just covered.
If you can control arousal, you can help regulate the release of dopamine. Arousal Arousal control is the key to controlling ejaculation. Learning to control arousal should be your main objective and is where you should begin. Also, trying to avoid arousal will only make you more sensitive to it.
My approach is simply to learn control so you can allow yourself to go through the arousal-pleasure process slower, so that you adequately satisfy your lady, and so that you too can get more out of the deal, including long-lasting sensual sex, and, of course, a more explosive orgasm for the finale.
By controlling your arousal, you prevent an overabundance of energy by energy, I mean blood, hormones, neurochemistry, and chemical reactions from building up and causing ejaculation and orgasm. Someone with the ability to control arousal can remain physically and mentally calm, clear minded, and relaxed for long periods of time throughout a sexual encounter. There is just too much physiology, psychology, and unknown phenomenon at work to comprehend.
Different religions and cultures have surprisingly different opinions on how it all works. Regardless, different people have different opinions on sexual arousal.
I classify arousal into four basic stages that are easy to comprehend. Get familiar with these stages and become self-aware of the process as it happens throughout your body. Stage 2 — The erection becomes fuller as arousal continues to climb. In this stage, you have a full erection and everything should feel relaxed and under control.
Heart rate increases slightly.
Your scrotum will hang fairly loose. In this stage, your parasympathetic system is more active than the sympathetic. Stage 3 - Arousal becomes more intense and begins to take hold. The Glans penis head increases in size, which results in increasing sensitivity.
The scrotum and testicles snug up to the penis. Heart rate increases and breathing becomes more rapid. Ejaculation and orgasm seem imminent. The sympathetic system becomes more active and the calming effects of the parasympathetic system fade away.
The perineal muscles contract as ejaculation and orgasm occur. Arousal and erection usually fade away. Many men go through life never paying attention to their arousal levels, let alone trying to control them. Many, however, subconsciously develop arousal control as they get older and more sexually active. The whole process can happen in a minute or an hour; it just depends on how fast you allow it to happen. Naturally, it will happen quickly if left uncontrolled.
This is why most men ejaculate prematurely! They were already in stage 3 by the time they started stimulation! This is just like what happened to the guy from American Pie, except he went all the way to stage 4 before stimulation that can actually happen too, and if it does, you really need to calm down and clear your head. Here is an example of how this occurs. If you were enjoying the film and really getting into it, you would most likely be highly aroused after 30 minutes of watching it.
Unless you were to control your arousal, you would most likely be in stage 3 arousal with a full erection by this time. So chances are, if you decided to whip it out and start masturbating, you would ejaculate within minutes or even seconds because you were already highly aroused in stage 3. I understand this can be difficult in foreplay, but do the best you can to keep it at a midlevel.
I will get into some foreplay tips for controlling arousal in a minute. The purpose of arousal control is to keep the body in a parasympathetic state for as long as possible, successfully preventing your body from moving into the sympathetic-inducing emission phase of ejaculation.
To accomplish this, you need to keep yourself in stage 2 and stay there as long as possible. The best way to learn arousal control is to get familiar with how your body responds to physical and mental sexual stimulation. The main triggers of arousal are mental, so stay in control of your head. This is best practiced alone while masturbating, as you are likely to be calmer and more aware of the situation. It will be a good time to get familiar with how your body reacts to both mental and physical stimulation.
Although, if you are having sex, you had better be practicing it then as well! First — Very Important One thing you need to pound in your head right now is that arousal control starts from the very first second you begin your sexual encounter — right from the beginning of first contact or thought, which usually starts with a sensual touch or light kiss.
Once arousal is peaked, your nervous system is so active that it would take stopping altogether before arousal would subside, and even then, your nerves are already primed and will most likely respond quicker when you resume stimulation. This is a common question that has no correct answer. I will point out a few different options and you can see what works best for you.
The fact is that all of these actually do work to an extent, so if that sounds like something you would like doing, then give it a try. I happen to think that these types of methods are merely temporary solutions. The choice is up to you, but I will lay out my approach for what I believe you should think about and do to control arousal, as it has worked for me and many others. One thing is for certain, though.
Relaxation of the entire body and mind is the only way to stay in parasympathetic mode and prevent the emission phase of ejaculation. My Approach to Arousal Control This is what I think you should do to keep yourself in a parasympathetic mode.
This type of approach can deliver the long-term results most men desire. Tantric sex more or less follows this same concept. Being sensual in this manner requires you to actually FOCUS on the sensations you are feeling — not just in the genital area, but in the entire body as a whole.
You need to pay attention and concentrate on what you are feeling, both in your genitals and throughout your whole body, and most importantly, you must remain calm the whole time. She can think about it in whichever way she pleases, but you must remain calm and in control. Think of the same mindset you have when getting a massage.
The sensations you experience feel very pleasant, and they usually loosen you up, relax your body, and clear your mind. It puts you in a totally parasympathetic state. When receiving a massage, people focus on the sensations because they feel good. It has nothing to do with sex or being horny unless you make it that way.
Sex can be experienced this same way, or in a very similar way, I should say. The key is to have and maintain that same mindset. Your mind needs to be crystal clear. It just needs to be done correctly. The trick is to stay relaxed, yet focused on feeling the sensations of your whole body, especially the genitals. What happens is that the emotions and sensations of sex feel so good that you eventually give in and let them fully take over.
Heart rate and breathing increase, mental power diminishes, and you begin to get swept away with arousal you can no longer control. Building a tolerance to mentally and physically handle prolonged stimulation is a MUST if you want permanent results.
They make their problem worse by becoming sensitive to it. So embrace those good feelings in a controlled, sensual way and always be self-aware of what your body is going through. They fall victim to their sympathetic tendencies of wanting to get off. There is no thinking…only observing and perceiving, in a relaxed, sensual manner. Note: Some of you might be wondering if doing this technique, or any other arousal control technique, will cause your erection to fade away.
The two types of relaxation Sensual sex is amazing after you get the hang of it. Both have their pros and cons. Deep relaxation — This type of relaxation is similar to what you might experience when meditating, getting a massage, or listening to soothing music.
Personally, this type of relaxation seems to be the most pleasurable when having sensual sex. It can sometimes happen without you even realizing it, and by the time you do, it is often too late.
Neutral relaxation — This type of relaxation is a little less enjoyable then deep relaxation, but the positive side is that it works a little better. To experience neutral relaxation, you must still be relaxed, but you need to be more alert than you are when in a deeply relaxed state. Use the type of focus you would use when reading a book.
In this state of mind, you should almost feel like a robot — not mad, not happy, not excited, not sleepy. Most men start with neutral relaxation and then move up to a deeper relaxation once they begin to develop better control. This next technique can also be used to control arousal during sex, but its main purpose is for practice.
The more you pay attention to your arousal process, the broader it will seem. Please note, you still need to remain parasympathetic relaxed for this to work.
In fact, you need to remain parasympathetic for any arousal-control technique to work. Being parasympathetic is the whole point of arousal control. You then need to learn how to move up and down that scale without ejaculating.
This will teach you how to regulate your arousal so that you can take it down a level if ejaculation is near. Take a look at the scale below. Perceiving your arousal as a scale from can make it easier to control. Using a scale from gives you a way of recognizing and defining how aroused you are.
From now on, during masturbation or sex, start paying attention to your arousal level and be aware of yourself moving up and down the scale. Take note of what seems to cause your arousal to jump a level, or two or three. Does a certain thought suddenly boost your arousal out of control? Are the physical sensations just too overwhelming? Or are you just not keeping your cool long enough? If certain thoughts seem to really get you going, try cutting them out or perceiving them as less intense.
Never let emotions, thoughts, or feelings control you. Letting your emotions and thoughts get out of hand too quickly is only going to cause arousal to increase. Keep yourself cool and calm for as long as possible. There will be plenty of time later for you to ejaculate.
You either are thinking about them too much, and in an erotic way, or you are too sensitive to physical stimulation. If the first reason is the cause, stop thinking so much and concentrate on something else, like breathing, and if you do think about the physical sensations, do so in a calm-sensual way.
Remember, your goal is to last longer, not to get off as soon as possible. Also, take note of what causes your arousal to decrease. So your goal here is to learn how to regulate your arousal. This is achieved by recognizing and developing control over the triggers that cause it to increase and decrease levels.
If you remain calm and aware of your body, and if you practice a lot, you should be able to go up and down this scale with ease. You will be able to prevent arousal from increasing, and be able to reduce it, if necessary, to avoid ejaculation. Focusing on Her Another great way to control arousal is to focus on your lady and how she is reacting.
This can and should be combined with any arousal technique you use. Just remember to remain calm and clear-minded parasympathetic. Focusing on a woman and watching her go through the arousal process is quite enjoyable. Most importantly though, focusing on her, and not solely on yourself, will allow you to last longer. When all your attention is on her and what she is experiencing, it helps keep your arousal level in stage 2 because it lessens the sensations you are feeling both emotional and physical.
There will always be time for you to have an orgasm later, so focus on her first. This is the problem of most men; they think too much about what they are feeling in an overly sexual way , rather than what is going on with their woman.
Stay focused and alert and maintain a neutral attitude. This technique should be used in conjunction with being sensual. Most importantly, you must remain parasympathetic.
Porn and Visualization Watching porn or using your imagination to visualize is the easiest way to increase arousal when alone. They should not be used compulsively, but only as tools to test yourself, such as your ability to regulate arousal up and down. The experience itself already makes it hard enough to control arousal. Adding too much emotion or thought will bring you over the top in no time.
This is a good way to test your ability to regulate arousal. This simple exercise can help train your mind to stay calm for long durations when being exposed to eroticism. This is all you have to do. Put in your favorite porno, preferably a long one for better training.
Then, all you do is watch it and try to remain calm and clear minded throughout. If you do it right, you should be able to watch and perceive the video without getting hard. Most men cannot do this for very long before getting an erection. The porn challenge is best done with neutral relaxation as your mindset. Usually, visualization and porn will do more harm than good. The problem is that most men overuse them. Just be cautious and conservative with them. ONLY use them as a tool to challenge your ability to control and regulate your levels of arousal.
You should actually start without it until you get better control. Perceiving vs. When having sex, try to perceive the experience rather than thinking about or getting emotionally involved with it at least in the beginning. The difference in perceiving and thinking is simple. That way, you can peak together, which is an awesome feeling that will leave you both happy.
Foreplay Foreplay can present a problem for someone who has a highly responsive nervous system, or someone who has PE. Foreplay can make your arousal so high that by the time you get ready to have sex, you already feel close to ejaculating. There is no need to control it here because what I do next makes me go back to stage 1 arousal. After minutes of kissing and fondling, I give a woman oral sex until she has an orgasm.
Most women take minutes to have an orgasm, so during this period of pleasing her, my arousal drops back to stage 1. So after minutes, I end up back in stage 1. Also, performing oral sex well takes extreme focus on your behalf, which successfully distracts you from becoming overaroused. I highly recommend giving oral sex until a woman reaches orgasm before you start penetration. Also, more serotonin will be released throughout your body in this calmed state, which has an inhibitory effect on the ejaculatory reflex, as will be described later.
But then again, some men like to let one off before having sex. Letting arousal get out of hand too fast during foreplay is one of the main reasons why men ejaculate quickly. They were already in stage 3 arousal by the time they began penetration. Heart Rate The other important aspect of arousal I want to discuss is the role played by your heart rate.
Heart rate increases as you get aroused. It seems that arousal controls heart rate by default. However, if you become conscious about your heart rate and arousal, you can flip-flop this involuntary action into a voluntary action in which you control your heart rate. This, in turn, prevents your arousal from rising out of control. One way to keep your heart rate low is to recognize your stages of arousal and avoid letting any emotions or physical sensations put you over the top. The other way to control heart rate is to breathe deeper, and at slower intervals.
I cover breathing techniques and how to breathe properly in a later chapter. Arousal Control As you can see, controlling arousal is the key to controlling ejaculation. Start getting familiar with how you respond during the arousal process and what causes it to move into stage 3 you can use the scale if that makes it easier to comprehend how aroused you are.
Godspower Elishason. Schrijf een review. E-mail deze pagina. Inkijkexemplaar Bekijk video. Ebooks lezen is heel makkelijk. Na aankoop zijn ze direct beschikbaar op je Kobo e-reader en op je smartphone of tablet met de gratis bol. Samenvatting Are you tired of your poor sexual performance? Then take your time to read and digest every word on this page…the next few minutes could change your life completely…note that this website will be closed down as soon as people download this wonderful life changing, award winning information manual!
I believe God gave us our sex organs to bond us together in pleasure, to keep us faithful to each. Sex matters more than most individuals will admit.
Great sex is transcending, mind-bendingly satisfying experience for both players. However, most men suffer from severe handicap; we are easily aroused, too easily pleased. In a word, we are inclined to come to too quickly to satisfying our lovers. A fit young man can probably jack off in a matter of seconds; the the girl looks up at you with a mixture of surprise and amusement…yeah she says it's okay, but deep down, she wishes you were hammering at her for hours.
You know it, she knows it, and you can see it in her eyes. If you could easily go for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, even 30 minutes or more. How much would that improve your sex life? Wouldn't you feel more confident in bed and finally enjoy the whole sexual experience without having an uptight feeling? Imagine if you could fully satisfy your partner every time you make love.
If you could last for as long as you need to give her screaming orgasm. If you could have that feeling of closeness and intimacy in your relationship. How much would that improve your relationship. Wouldn't thatmake you feel good? Or even proud? Friend, no matter what you've tried before, and no matter what they've told you. This does NOT mean you are unable.